By Ewere Okonta
08037383019
Let’s talk. This is your midweek reality check, and I promise not to speak in parables. This one is straight from the heart, and it’s going to sting a little—but only because you need to hear it.
There’s a dangerous trend I’ve been observing for years, and it’s now getting out of hand: parents outsourcing their children to the church and then blaming the government for their own laziness. Yes, I said it. Laziness. That sweet, sugar-coated word we hide behind phrases like, “We’re just trusting God,” or “This country has failed us.”
Let me ask you something: when did parenting become a part-time job? When did we start handing our children over to pastors, teachers, Sunday school coordinators, and housemaids, expecting them to raise future leaders while we scroll through Instagram or hustle endlessly, forgetting the home?
Your pastor is not your co-parent. The government is not your babysitter. And Sunday School is not where your child should be learning how to be a decent human being. That job is yours. Start doing it.
The Church Is Not a Daycare
Yes, the church has a role in your child’s life. Absolutely. But it’s supplementary, not foundational. You drop them off at the children’s department, hoping the choir mistress or that kind auntie in ushering will ‘train them up in the way they should go’—meanwhile, at home, they’re allowed to speak rudely, lie freely, consume TikTok like air, and never hear the word “No.”
And when they grow up angry, confused, rebellious, and entitled, guess who you blame? Not yourself. Oh no. It’s either the devil, the economy, or “bad friends.”
You say the government failed your child.
No, dear. You failed first.
Let’s Talk Consequences
Do you know what happens when you don’t raise your child intentionally? Society pays the price.
We end up with adults who cannot handle rejection, who lack emotional intelligence, and who expect everything to be handed to them. We raise politicians who don’t serve, pastors who manipulate, husbands who don’t lead, wives who don’t build, and citizens who can’t think critically.
That child you didn’t discipline becomes the man who slaps his wife in front of the kids.
That daughter you refused to listen to becomes the woman who can’t hold a conversation without yelling.
That boy you let run wild becomes the cultist at the university gate.
That girl you never affirmed becomes a mother raising children in trauma and silence.
And then we gather in prayer meetings asking God to “heal our land.” No, sir. The healing starts in the home—not at the altar.
The Power of Raising Them Right
Now, flip the coin.
Do you know the power of a well-raised child? I’m not talking about perfection—we all make mistakes. But I’m talking about intentional parenting. The type that combines love with discipline, faith with reason, prayer with planning.
A well-raised child becomes a blessing to your family. You sleep better. You age slower. You’re not constantly called to school for behavioral issues. That child grows to honor you, to support you, and to elevate the family name.
In the church? They become light. They serve. They lead worship, organize youth programs, counsel peers—not because the church forced them, but because home gave them roots.
In society? They become responsible citizens. They pay taxes. They don’t loot. They challenge systems, not burn them down. They walk into rooms with confidence, not entitlement. They build nations. They become the doctors you’re proud of, the lawyers who speak truth, the engineers who don’t cut corners, and the politicians who still have a soul.
That’s the kind of legacy worth praying for. But guess what? You don’t pray your way into that—you parent your way into it.
You Can’t Pray Laziness Away
Yes, Nigeria is hard. But using that as a permanent excuse is cowardly. Everyone’s tired. Everyone is grinding. But no grind should replace your God-given role as a parent. You were chosen to shape a life, not just to feed it.
Teach your children how to think. How to feel. How to apologize. How to question. How to dream. How to lead. How to serve. Let them see your flaws, but also your humility. Let them catch you praying and planning—not just posting and complaining.
Some of you need to log out of politics for a second and face your living room. Campaigns will come and go, but the person your child becomes will shape your old age.
So today’s sermon?
Stop outsourcing your child’s future. Own it. Shape it. Guard it.
Don’t just be their provider. Be their teacher, their coach, their pastor, their mirror.
And maybe—just maybe—your children won’t have to heal from the childhood you refused to take responsibility for.
See you Sunday.
But first, go home—and parent.
This is my midweek sermon from my holy pulpit!
Ewere Okonta is the CEO of EOB Media. He is a family values advocate. He writes from the Department of Business Administration, University of Delta, Agbor